Seriously PETA? WTF? Digital Whales Mean That Much?

written by Justin Prince (@prince_justin)

Ubisoft dances on the realm of fantasy and fact with their Assassin's Creed games. Sure they made moments like the Bonfire of the Vanities and the Boston Massacre into these grand cinematic set pieces. But when it comes down to it, this story about a fictional order of assassins that shape the outcomes of history is fiction.

Here is where everything gets... funny. According to PETA, they are objecting to the depiction of whaling in Assassin's Creed 4 stating that Ubisoft is glorifying this otherwise cruel act.

PETA's Matt Bruce is reported to say (amongst other random acts of SMDH worthy statements) "In Assassin’s Creed 4, you get ahead by killing. Joe Shmoe who plays this game in his mother’s basement in the safety and comfort of his home will feel a sense of accomplishment by killing this whale.”   Please for a moment... allow me to catch my breath...

Are you FUCKING kidding me! 

Are there not enough fur farms and slaughter houses that your boredom leads you to protest a game company because they depict whaling? Sure your organization makes some sound points when it comes to things like fur farms in Asia and animals that are cruelly slaughtered, but this is a fucking video game! And more so than that, the events depicted happen during a time when whaling was a common practice! This would be like the NAACP protesting Assassin's Creed: Liberation for their depiction of slavery. 

There is a fine silver lining to this massive sack of what-the-fuckery... Ubisoft's Senior PR Manager Stone Chin responds "History is our playground in Assassin's Creed. Assassin's Creed 4: Black Flag is a work of fiction that depicts the real events during the golden era of pirates. We do not condone illegal whaling, just as we don't condone a pirate lifestyle of poor hygiene, plundering, hijacking ships and over-the-legal-limit drunken debauchery."

I gotta hand it to them, I loved how they responded to it. When it comes down to it, it's an age old conflict in the game's industry. The separation of fictional with reality, similar to the conflict of video game violence correlating real life violence. Here is where PETA falls flat, even if for some reason Joe Schmo does get an endorphin fueled boost from whaling in this game... I highly doubt that this same Joe Schmo would rent a boat and try to hunt Moby Dick.

I'd also like to add that their description of the "typical gamer" being momma's basement dwelling Joe... seriously open your eyes PETA, gamers come from all walks of life. So when Assassin's Creed 4: Black Flag comes out this Fall, please resist the urge to murder Wily... otherwise PETA will not just be a group of psychotic propaganda fueling animal lovers... but these jackhole's will be right. Personally, I doubt that will be an issue. What do you guys think? Sound off in the comments.